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  • Writer's picturePatrick Norris

68. Tony Cooke – Relationship Oriented Leadership

Welcome to Episode #68 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. Today’s conversation is with Tony Cooke, a tenured church leader, former Bible College Dean, author, and mentor to church leaders around the world. Our conversation on Relationship Oriented Leadership takes us into the following topics:

  • Leadership begins with relationships.

  • Biblical characters and their dysfunctional relationships.

  • Sanctification happens in the fires of relationships.

  • The Apostle Paul’s broken relationship profile.

  • The elements and potholes of empowering others.

  • Gamaliel’s mentorship of the Apostle Paul.

  • Barnabas’ friendship and encouragements with Paul

  • John Mark’s challenges and rifts with Paul.

  • Content leaders versus relational leaders.

  • Barnabas’ redemption and nurture of John Mark.

  • Ten thousand teachers but only a few fathers.

  • A leader’s anxiety versus vulnerability and holding others accountable.

  • The balance between task and relationship orientation as leaders.

  • The beauty of nurturing and challenging those we lead.

  • Our heart bleeds when people reject or transition out of our leadership.

  • The healthy side of relationship anger versus shutting down.

  • Observing team members’ emotions versus wrestling over the relational data.

  • Working on relationships without the right tools is very difficult.

  • Forgiveness, releasing debts, and understanding how to restore to wholeness.

  • Developing differentiation in relationships to nurture our own identity.

  • Jesus removed himself from hostile situations by holding healthy boundaries.

  • Andrew missing out on Jesus’ inner circle group.

  • Contrasting what you “need” versus what you “desire”.

Tony Cooke’s book on relationships is called Relationships Matter and can be found at

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Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister

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