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  • Writer's picturePatrick Norris

93. Patrick Norris – Differentiation: How a Healthy Identity Begins with Awareness

Welcome to Episode #93 of the Red Ink Revival Leadership Podcast. In today’s episode Patrick is continuing with one of the most important factors for successful leaders, differentiation. Self-differentiation is a human flourishing code cracker. If you have wondered why you can’t seem to get the ‘wins’ you work so hard for, even after training with conferences, consultants, books, podcasts, and mentors, this episode is for you!

This episode takes us into the following:

  • We review Dr. Murray Bowen’s Family Systems Theory applied to restoring families.

  • We share how Edwin Friedman’s famous book, A Failure of Nerve, takes Family Systems Theory and applies it to organizations, leaders, and organizational flourishing.

  • We show the Biblical foundations of identity and self-differentiation.

  • We begin looking at 5 components to mature in self-differentiation: A-R-T-S-Y.

  • We see how our identity is matured by awareness, responsibility, and transparent truth.

  • We learn how our identity was originally formed through interpersonal neurobiological interactions with our family of origin.

  • We look at how to grow in self-awareness.

  • We discuss the 3 R’s of practicing awareness: 1) Recalling grievance memories, 2) Reflecting on event feelings, and 3) Recognizing associated narratives and meanings.

  • We present the “Feelings Wheel” as a tool to discover various feeling states.

  • We walk through how an event turns into an emotional experience, then a looping narrative script, then an emotional meaning around our self.

  • We see how disputing false interpretations gives new meaning and relieves anxiety.

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If you have questions you would like addressed in a future episode, topics you would enjoy hearing, or just want to give us feedback, we would love to hear from you. Email us at

Edited and produced by Evan (Emac) McAlister.

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